was my love really worth this much hate?

how does it change who I am?

why does holding her hand mean letting go of my moms?

why should it matter?

will it ever be as easy to kiss her as it is to kiss him?

does my mom react this way because she was taught wrong?

And so I went home, tears streaming down my face, ready to explain to my mom why I don't have the spark anymore. My first heartbreak. It felt as if my skin would bruise If touched. We sat down in our dinner table and I started to tell my most wonderful memories, opening my soul not knowing it would be crushed. That's when my mom realised it wasn't a phase. She tells me she want's a traditional girl, that what I am telling is disgusting. My second heartbreak.

what is a traditional girl?

is my mom a traditional girl?

why can't I enjoy her as much as I enjoy him

will I ever get to marry who I want next to my family?

how will I have good communication with my mom if I have to hide who I am

and so whatever comes our way it's always love that overcomes them all. I will cut the old decay if it means there will be space for growth and health. sometimes what seems normal should be changed. sometimes our thoughts are rotten. and the cactus will grow small cacti. new forms in each corner of the cut together giving hope. and the cactus will feel relief. all the new forms smiling at it. no longer damaged by what it holds. and maybe it will be seen and appreciated.